‘SIT’ – ‘CON’dition

This is just so wrong…so wrong…in so many ways..on so many levels.
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Do you know what distinguishes the entire Indian subcontinent from the ‘western world’? Of course, apart from the fact that they are much more civilised, advanced, and developed. The one thing that I noticed about their way of living is their disrespect for the ground. You read right, disrespect.

Did you ever notice that they never sit on the ground? While we consider ‘Mother Earth’ to be divine and ‘pure’, they have absolutely nothing but resent for the terra firma. All our ‘holy’ ceremonies are conducted on the earth that we stand on. But the only response to a person sitting/laying/doing anything but standing on the floor from a ‘westerner’ is “Get you a** of the floor.”

We conduct marriages sitting down. Right from the birth of a child, his ‘naming ceremony’ (which is an utter waste of time, according to me, but more on that later), and all his rituals are conducted on the ground. While the westerners (I don’t know why I keep saying that, although the world is round, well an elliptical sphere, but still you get the idea), have their marriages/weddings in  a church, wearing their Sunday best, not to mention standing up, we prefer doing it in front of a fire on the ground sitting down in our dhotis/mundus.

For them, sitting down automatically implies, on a chair. You ask an Indian to sit down, and he WILL sit DOWN! He will sit on the ground with crossed legs as if lunch is about to be served. The only time you’d ever find a European or an American do it is if they are practising yoga, which is India’s national exercise, apparently.

And don’t even get me started on the way the Indian sub-continent does do-do and wee-wee. But I can make my peace with that, since the Indian government doesn’t have enough funds to build a European-style toilet in every home. But to those who prefer to use the Indian method, which, by the way, is far less sanitary and highly ridiculous, I just want to ask this – WHY? Continue reading “‘SIT’ – ‘CON’dition”

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The Lungi Conundrum

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I’m in Kerala, right now, attending to the chores and rituals of the pre-wedding/pre-marital of my dear cousin. And it is because of this predisposition that I was away from my dear blog. But, the awesome guy that I am, I found just enough time in between the engagement and the wedding, and all the hazy hastiness that surrounds me, to come up with a post. So, kudos to me!

Now that I’ve praised myself, I can carry on with my post. This is a list of reasons why I hate wearing a ‘lungi’. Now, for those who are unaware of ‘the lungi’ (Scientific name = ‘mundu’), the lungi is a piece of cloth, usually cotton, 220×115 dimensions, and is worn around the waist like a skirt, minus the puffiness. In Kerala, lungis are open, in contrast to those in Bengal or Tamil Nadu, which are tube-like and one has to hop into them and then tighten them.

Now for the staple food of South India… Just Kidding. Enough with the geography class already!

Even though it seems like what a woman would wear for an underskirt, it really is manly. Apparently, the ‘madaki kuthu’ move conveys more emotions than classical dancers do. Anyways, the feminine aspect of wearing a skirt-like object is the least of my worries. Well, not the least, but still.

Reasons why I don’t like wearing lungi: Continue reading “The Lungi Conundrum”

Of Back-Benchers and Mobile Internet…

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It was a regular day in class. And when I say regular, I mean, boring. Staff coming in, saying stuff no one really gives a damn about, asking questions no one knows the answers to, scolding, advising, face-palming at the ignorance and alleged arrogance of the students and finally going back in utter dismay. Then, the next ‘teacher’ comes in and repeats the cycle.

But usually, we back benchers have something better to do with ourselves. We draw, we write, we create poetry, we craft out 3d cartoons, in-fact, the back-benchers of any class are supposed to be the creative bunch of the whole class. The fastest and the greatest minds are that of the back-benchers.

“The best brains of the nation may be found on the LAST BENCHES of the classroom”

-APJ Abdul Kalam

Continue reading “Of Back-Benchers and Mobile Internet…”

An Affair to Remember

An Affair to Remember

“An Affair to Remember”

She came in to my room. Na-uh, she barged into my room and dropped herself on the bed, waking me up.

“Good morning, dear.” I said, rubbing my eyes.

“Wake up, you bozo!” she said, hitting me with her purse.

“What’s up? How come you’re up so early?”

“Okay, We have to talk. Don’t worry, it’s not anything serious.”

“Mm…hmm. I’m listening.” I said, still half-asleep.

“I was watching Dexter yesterday and guess what I realized?” she replied quirkily.

“That, you watching Dexter, is the reason I love you?” I replied, still groggy.

“No! Dumbo!” she said, blushing and pulling the sheet off of me, playfully.

“That we haven’t been on a real date since… WOW! I can’t even remember the last time.”

Continue reading “An Affair to Remember”