‘SIT’ – ‘CON’dition

This is just so wrong…so wrong…in so many ways..on so many levels.
Image Source : here

Do you know what distinguishes the entire Indian subcontinent from the ‘western world’? Of course, apart from the fact that they are much more civilised, advanced, and developed. The one thing that I noticed about their way of living is their disrespect for the ground. You read right, disrespect.

Did you ever notice that they never sit on the ground? While we consider ‘Mother Earth’ to be divine and ‘pure’, they have absolutely nothing but resent for the terra firma. All our ‘holy’ ceremonies are conducted on the earth that we stand on. But the only response to a person sitting/laying/doing anything but standing on the floor from a ‘westerner’ is “Get you a** of the floor.”

We conduct marriages sitting down. Right from the birth of a child, his ‘naming ceremony’ (which is an utter waste of time, according to me, but more on that later), and all his rituals are conducted on the ground. While the westerners (I don’t know why I keep saying that, although the world is round, well an elliptical sphere, but still you get the idea), have their marriages/weddings in  a church, wearing their Sunday best, not to mention standing up, we prefer doing it in front of a fire on the ground sitting down in our dhotis/mundus.

For them, sitting down automatically implies, on a chair. You ask an Indian to sit down, and he WILL sit DOWN! He will sit on the ground with crossed legs as if lunch is about to be served. The only time you’d ever find a European or an American do it is if they are practising yoga, which is India’s national exercise, apparently.

And don’t even get me started on the way the Indian sub-continent does do-do and wee-wee. But I can make my peace with that, since the Indian government doesn’t have enough funds to build a European-style toilet in every home. But to those who prefer to use the Indian method, which, by the way, is far less sanitary and highly ridiculous, I just want to ask this – WHY?

I’m not dissing on the people who do this, and by this I mean sitting on the floor/ground, and NOT the toilet thing, I just don’t understand the obsession of the Indian culture with the mud. If you really want to please Mother Nature, go plant a tree, and stop shi**ing on her. You go take a morning walk through the countryside of a city early in the morning. I dare you. It is a plethora of human genitalia ranging throughout the roadside or a bit deeper into the woods, not so deep that they can’t be seen nor the way that you can see their woo-woos and what-nots.

Even the way we, especially Tamilians (I’ve noticed) drink their coffee in that squatting position. Why do they do that? Isn’t it bad enough that they do it for do-do-ing? Should they assume the same position while drinking something as divine as coffee? This post was inspired from one of the same sights of one of ‘them’ drinking coffee in that manner one evening.

Now for the disclaimer, because without it I’ll be accused of insensitivity and ignorance, just kidding.

This post has nothing to do with the farmer community or any other community that earns their living by toiling hard on the field or roads or any other form of ground there is. This goes out to the people who do white collar jobs all day and have no qualms about eating from a leaf sitting on the ground, which differentiates them in no way, from how one would feed an animal.

Now I must also add, that much to my distaste, I bow to social conventions and have eaten in a similar fashion before and would continue to shamelessly do so in the future, because apparently that is the way of our ancestors, and who am I to question their indisputably sensible ways of living.

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7 thoughts on “‘SIT’ – ‘CON’dition

  1. In the first glance, your post appears to be mindless rant with half baked idea about the customs and practices that you’ve accumulated over time. However, I’m imagining your subconscious mind yearning to sync in tune with the “Westernization” and trying to find a place for all the Indian customs in that fairy-land.
    Sitting on ground is not diminutive or disregarding. It is a system developed keeping fitness in mind, so that no extra effort be required to keep all your joints and muscles working properly. The same thing can be extended to the other cases. Let’s think of a practical exercise to understand both the poo-pooing systems that are prevalent – the commode and the laterine.
    Skin contact – More on a commode than on a laterine. Lesser the contact, lesser the chances of picking up anything that was sticking to the previous man’s rear thigh. It could be sweat, blood from a small wound or any other secretion that his ruptured skin might consider dontaing to the world. Isn’t this the marketing strategy behind Dettol handwash? That every soap drop is “untouched”?
    Posture – You need to suffer from constipation or extreme loads of poo waiting to burst out if you want to have a complete cleansing experience on a commode. Otherwise, if you want the bowel movement to be smooth and your inners cleansed everyday, it is better to discard bodily wastes under self-pressure to clean everyday wastes : which is precisely the principle behind the laterine.
    Btw, what has the pic gotta do with the post?

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    1. @Su Wow!! That is probably the lengthiest and most introspective comment I’ve ever had!! Any ways judge me all you want from these posts I make, and thank you for giving me the benefit of doubt.
      Are you telling me that we squat on the ground and poo-poo the way we poo-poo for fitness?! Go for a jog! It’ll do you much better than squatting continuously for 10-15 minutes every day!
      There are toilet seat covers, you could wash before you sit…there are so many different ways to keep yourself clean. And statistics have proved that there are more germs on door knobs than on the toilet seat.
      Again… do yoga. Do exercises for posture. And aren’t you supposed to keep your back erect in order to keep posture? And you sitting down on a bent back as if you’re doing crunches on a latrine is not self pressure. And isn’t this… or rather, shouldn’t this be a non pressurized thing to do? I mean, why do you think people take newspapers and magazines into the toilet, if they were to concentrate on…well… poo.
      And I have nothing against the latrine users. I was talking about those who poo on roadways, in farms, whose general stimulus is the grass grazing against their butt. It’s these guys who I despise.
      And the picture is a double take on the insane cultures of India and the fact that we marry sitting down (para 3) 😉 And don’t feel like I’m yelling at you or anything…I was just making a point through this extra-long comment. And the fact that I’m doing it in a net-cafe instead of the comforts of my home is a bit unnerving.

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    1. Hahaha….No it’s not!! But isn’t it ironical?

      And thanks for noticing it man. I will get a 24 hr internet connection, soon enough and then I promise you I’ll write way more. I haven’t checked on my regular blogs either…God! I miss you guys!

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  2. u put up a pic of a guy marrying a dog and then proceed to write bout the horrors of the Indian culture, specifically sitting!?!? i mean huh????
    wat the heck happen??? did ur normal internet connection take away ur good sense as well?
    dunt get me wrong, i completely adore u and ur blog, but the first comment made a whole lot sense than the whole post itself..
    and i cant believer u specifically mentioned “Tamilians”, as in a particular community. u do realise u cud have started a tiny riot in some tiny part of our country,dunt u?
    Im sorry bout this negative comment. I hope u rnt offended by my opinion.but duuuuude… :-/

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    1. Firstly…heyya!! So nice having you back!!
      And the pic… I thought it was funny and it essentially gives out the idea that we conduct marriages sitting down, and the weird customs we follow, like sitting down.
      And I appreciate criticism… 😉
      The ‘Tamilians’ part was only about the way they drink coffee! Read the part again and you’ll see I mentioned that I’ve noticed them do that.
      And don’t worry, nothing you say will offend me 😉 That’s just your opinion…and it’d be foolish on my part to be offended by anybody’s opinion. Although I agree this one is not one of my best posts, but still, it was written in a time of desperation to post, and I’m sorry if you expected more. I’ll try to be ‘sensible’ from now on (Although we both know sensibility is not my forte 😉 )

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